Letting Go, Week Three

As each family member took his/her turn choosing their menu items this week, it took every bit of my restraint to not interject. I was kicking off the week on Super Bowl Sunday with pulled pork. N then chose another pork dish for Monday’s dinner. Okaaaay. Not gonna die from two nights of pork, right? Then M chose her Tuesday dinner--7 layer dip burritos. Yum! I was super excited because this not only was a meatless choice, but was rooted in a vessel no one had explored yet - a tortilla! To “wrap up” meal planning (haha), I had to remind Mark to choose his item right before I was heading out to shop. He flipped through two pages of the Food Network magazine and landed on Moroccan Beef Stew.

I should pause here and say I have a bit of a history of questioning Mark’s cooking choices. A few years ago he decided to make popcorn on the stove. I have been doing this my whole life since it’s the only way my parents ever made popcorn, so I certainly have this “old fashioned” process down to a science. I remember being taken aback that he was actually initiating this, as he’s typically more of a I’ll-eat-whatever-is-pre-packaged-and-ready guy. He pulled out the extra virgin olive oil and my brain exploded. Without solicitation, I said, “You’re supposed to use canola oil for this,” and when he said, “What’s the problem with this other kind?” I had some answer (courtesy of some cooking show) about how the smoke point is too low for this kind of heating. Instead of continuing with the EVOO or even switching to canola oil, he packed all the stuff up and put it away. Message received, loud and clear. I should have minded my own dang business, for what harm could using EVOO really have caused? None.

Flash forward now to Sunday afternoon. I questioned this choice of the stew since it had a couple of ingredients I knew I’d spend money on and then we’d never use again (harissa paste, ras el hanout, pitted prunes, celery root, couscous). He understood, and as he was scanning the next page I pointed to something and said, “Oh! This looks good!” He gave me a look, and in a salty tone said, “Do I get to choose the item, or…” Point taken; I backed off. He then flipped another page, pointed his finger at the egg and smoked trout breakfast burrito, and before I could say, “But M is already making a burrito on Tuesday!” he said, “That. But with chicken instead of trout.” Okey dokey! Two nights of pork followed by two nights of burritos it is!

If you know me, you know I am comfortable being in charge (that's the nice way to say it 😉). And I have lots of great opinions and ideas that I’m happy to share with you...lol. We can blame that on the fact that I’m an only child or simply that I was raised by two people who also like to be in charge. In my head, I have a way of organizing everything. This experience is helping me relinquish control. It’s taking some concentrated effort on my part to let each family member do this his or her own way, even if it’s not the way I would do it. And guess what I’m learning? In the end, it. doesn’t. matter. Everyone is having fun and learning skills in their own way that will hopefully last a very long time.

So here’s to letting go and standing on the sidelines (Super Bowl pun!) as the people I love do what they do in a way that makes them happy.

Sunday: For the most boring Super Bowl in history, I made BBQ pulled pork. I kinda followed this recipe, but not really. WTH is liquid smoke? Add it to the list of ingredients I don’t buy because 1. I don’t know where it is at my grocery store and 2. I’ll buy it, put it in the back of the cabinet, and never use it again.

So all I did was put a big slab of pork shoulder (that I had gotten on sale at Mariano’s--if you don’t shop the meat sales, you should! I buy cheap meat all the time and then throw it in the freezer until I’m ready to use it.) in the crockpot, douse it with Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce, add a cup of water, some salt, and garlic powder, and cover it. It cooked for eight hours, and then I shredded it, drained the liquid from the pot, and added more sauce to the meat. We enjoyed it on brioche buns with some simple coleslaw. We did not enjoy the Patriots’ win or the awkward Maroon 5 halftime show. But the kids always look forward to commercial bingo, so that, along with the pork, were the true MVPs of the evening.

Sidebar: we spent all of Sunday driving to and from Galena, IL, because WE ARE GETTING A PUPPY! There’s a whole ‘nother blog entry I could write about this, but for now I’ll say I never thought I’d agree to getting a dog, but here we are. We are all very excited to welcome our new Goldendoodle pup home on Friday the 15th.

Monday: More pork! N had a good lesson in following directions on Monday night. Many of my students struggle to follow directions, even after I have read them aloud and pointed to them on paper. (Choose any meme from this page and it applies to many of us teachers.) So I’ll be damned if my own kid is going to be like that.

N embarked on his Spice Rubbed Pork Chops and knew how to do a lot more of the prep than he would have a couple weeks ago! The only thing I really had to teach him was to chop scallions and read the directions on the rice box. As questions arose, I just kept saying, “Read the directions. Read the directions.” And he did! And his meal was yummy. When he tried the rice, he exclaimed, “Yay me!”

Tuesday: I don’t have much to say about Tuesday’s dinner, 7 Layer Dip Burritos, because I wasn’t home for the assembling of it. I was serving on a committee for our teachers’ association, interviewing school board candidates (vote in your March elections!), so M was on her own that night. She and I gathered all the materials before I left and prepped the guacamole. She, too, had a lesson in the prefix micro- and what a microplane is, and she learned how to score and scoop an avocado. She wrote out a list of what she needed to do once dinner time arose, and with that, I was out the door. Apparently, the meal was simple but tasty. I had suggested they have tortilla chips on the side but they decided not to. FINE BY ME! (Where are my Friends fans?!)

In between work and the meeting, though, I did a little baking for the founder of Made by Mary, a local group that bakes for deserving community members. M and I, especially, have loved being part of this group--it allows us to put our passions for baking and helping others to use.

Anyway, the founder had just gotten a new job and was dealing with some challenging aspects of the transition, so I thought she might enjoy some blueberry (I added lemon, too) scones. After packaging up the ones for delivery, there were plenty left over for us to eat during the week. There’s just something about a bakery-looking pastry in the morning at work that makes me happy. It makes me feel special. Like I can conquer the day. So I’ll definitely be making more of these. And she said they were a hit among her new coworkers, too!

Wednesday: More burritos! At the start of this “noble experiment” my friend at work said, “Make sure you blog about the fails, too!” and I legit thought this was going to be the first one. This Egg and Chicken Breakfast Burrito recipe was pretty involved, and I was a little worried Mark would be overwhelmed. Not only was he responsible for following this recipe (for the main and side dishes), he had to cook the chicken first, since he was subbing it for the smoked trout.

The “popcorn incident” was on my mind right from the start on Thursday. I didn’t want to interfere, but I wanted to be available to help. I explained that the chicken was raw and in the fridge. This was news to him (probably since I had pre-cooked the chicken last week). He asked what he should do, so I walked him through patting the chicken dry, seasoning it, and putting it in a pan in a 375° oven. I explained we were subbing less-expensive cream cheese for the creme fraiche, showed him where the dill was in the fridge, and headed out on a walk. I consciously removed myself from the situation so I wouldn’t be tempted to interject or offer unsolicited “advice.”

As I was about halfway around the block I received a FaceTime call from Mark. I answered and was face to face with a bunch of dill. Literally. He said, “I don’t know what to do with this.” I smiled and talked him through how much to chop and how to chop it. He thanked me and we hung up. No big dill! ;)

When the meal was plated and in front of us I asked, “Are you happy with how it all turned out?” He said, “It doesn’t present well. I think I needed larger tortillas, but I think it’ll taste good.” It doesn’t present well?! Watch out, Check, Please, there’s a new food critic in town!

The. meal. was. delicious. Mark was his own harshest critic, “I think the potatoes are a little too vinegar-y.” I disagreed because I was beyond impressed with all he had accomplished.

To conclude, I’d like to give a shout out to all the readers who have begun some version of this "noble experiment" on their own. Four relatives and friends contacted me to tell me their kids were getting into the kitchen this week to cook for their families. Simply put, this makes me smile. So thank you for reading and for taking this idea and making it your own. The more we can do this with our kids, the more prepared they will be to cook for themselves, their friends, and their spouses/families one day. And an independent, self-sufficient kid is a successful kid, in my opinion. Keep it up, and keep me updated! And I promise...you can use any oil you want. :)