Insane in the Membrane, Week Five

Whilst lying in bed this morning at 4 A.M. after having taken the dog outside I pondered what my blog theme for the week could be. One phrase kept running through my mind…”insane in the membrane.” Between my affinity for fanny packs and love of Janet Jackson songs, I just might be stuck in the 90s, which is no wonder this Cypress Hill tune kept replaying itself as I tried to fall back asleep. Mind you, I was not an actual fan of Cypress Hill back in the day (not that anyone will be surprised by this), nor could I tell you even one more song of theirs, but if there ever were a phrase to capture the madness of this work week, this is it.

In addition to managing life with a puppy (which myriad people have accurately compared to having a new baby, namely in the lack of sleep department), Mark and I are serving on multiple district committees and wearing many hats these days. And every one of them required a significant commitment this week. Additionally, all four of us had (fun) evening activities every night this week, from seeing Dear Evan Hansen on Tuesday to coaching volleyball games to going to the library to see M’s school principal read on Thursday. All of this, on top of our regular workload, made for the insane week, but we did manage to get in a few good meals.

Saturday: I know Saturday is technically part of last week, but I didn’t blog about it then, and by damn, it’s the only meal I made this week so it’s going in.

We spent pretty much all of last weekend at home because of Dewey’s arrival. As per my week two post titled “Jitterbugging Through Life,” I have trouble sitting still and being homebound, so this was a challenge for me. What better way to channel my energy than make a feast?! The new Food Network magazine arrived and the four of us were all over it. I chose Jeff Mauro’s United States of Meatloaf and subbed the various meats out for ground turkey (another bulk Costco purchase), and BY. GOD. If you only make a single dish from these blog entries, this should be it. Moist, delicious, salty, a little sweet. Yummmmm.

French onion soup is Mark’s favorite, so when I saw these French Onion Soup Mashed Potatoes, I knew they’d be the perfect, comforting accompaniment to the meatloaf. I quickly steamed some asparagus in the microwave (how to: cut into thirds, place in a micro-safe bowl, add a tablespoon of water, cover with plastic wrap, and cook for five minutes) and we had a Saturday night feast!

Monday: In honor of Presidents’ Day and former President Obama, N chose Hawaiian Loco Moco Burgers. Let me reiterate for later that he, all on his own, chose this recipe. This cook was the highlight of my week. N squirmed forming the ground turkey patties much in the way M did last week with the raw chicken.

After mixing the meat with a wooden spoon he astutely asked, “How do I separate them evenly?” I say “astutely” because I used to just dig my hands in like a savage and eyeball it until I one day watched Rachel Ray form the meat into a ball and then score it into four sections. Genius! I then showed him how to used our fancy schmancy Dollar Tree patty maker, and he was thoroughly grossed out by the process of scooping the meat ("Do we have any gloves?"), flattening the meat, handling the meat, and then getting it into the pan, “I’ve never wanted to wash my hands so badly in my life.” Ha!

Step two in this saga included teaching him how to fry an egg. You can tell by his face that this was not his favorite job, either. Nonetheless, all four eggs turned out perfectly and it was time to assemble our breakfast burgers.

Mark and I went gaga for this burger. We are suckers for dripping, ooey, gooey egg yolk and anything sodium-laden, and man, did this burger fit the bill.

The kids literally hated it. Neither kid ate the egg, and I had to convince my burger-hating daughter that her patty was essentially the same as a piece of meatloaf. She ate half, declared she was fine with no dessert, and excused herself from the table. The fact that I was secretly happy she did this so I could eat the remainder of her burger proves just how delicious it was.

The fact that N didn’t like it either prompted me to suggest that he actually read through the recipes in the future before committing to one. He concurred and walked away from the table as Mark snatched and finished off his.

Wednesday: I was out with friends at a food tasting for my good friend Mary Jo’s upcoming retirement party (woot woot!), so Mark was on his own tonight. I hit my mental rock bottom on Wednesday at around 4 P.M., so on my way to the restaurant I called Mark to tell him he could just skip dinner if he was feeling even half as overwhelmed as I was. As usual, he was taking everything in stride and was totally up for making dinner. I hung up the phone, hugged my friends, ordered a drink, and enjoyed two hours of carefree conversation while he not only held down the fort over here but made a creative breakfast dinner, too.

To back up a smidge, despite a couple reminders, Mark had not chosen his meal last weekend by the time I was ready to grocery shop. With week three’s “Do *I* get to choose the menu item, or…?” comment on my mind, I was hesitant to choose for him, but I did anyway because I was tired of waiting for him to fulfill my request. Perhaps you wives can relate. Perhaps not.

I paged through the magazine, looking for something relatively simple. I chose Denver Scramble with Cheese Curds. (P.S. He made it with shredded cheese as I couldn’t find curds.) I may or may not have chosen it because it was labeled a “kids’ meal,” as Mark is famous for ordering chicken fingers at restaurants. We’ll attribute this to his youthful outlook on life.

It wasn’t until I was driving home and thinking about how his meal went that I remembered a text thread of ours from a few months ago. At some random time of the day I heard the ping of my phone and checked it. From Mark ICE: “I have to tell you something...” I was panicked. An ellipsis? Mark does not send these kinds of texts. Nine out of 10 texts he sends me are either “K” or “👍.” My head raced, Is he cheating on me? Wants a divorce? Has a life-threatening illness? I responded, “Should I call? Do I need to come home?” After a few minutes, MULTIPLE MINUTES, he replied, “There is no one in the entire world who is worse than me at making scrambled eggs.” 🤯🤪😅 He had apparently added too much salt (even for him) and added the cheese too early so the result was a pile of inedible mush.

Needless to say, he must have followed the recipe directions this time because his finished product looked delish. I am happy to report that in the battle between Mark and scrambled eggs, the competitors are tied!

Friday: M had to wait patiently all week to make Asian Chicken Noodle Soup since it got pushed back from Sunday to Thursday to eventually Friday. She prepped the vegetables on Thursday then cooked it all up Friday night. She was drawn to the recipe because it included dumplings, which are a fan favorite over here. We buy multiple boxes at a time of these Bibigo dumplings from Costco (currently on sale for $7.99!), and N literally eats them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack.

This dish was good but not great. It needed WAY more salt; once we added quite a bit of soy sauce, it was tasty. M grinned big, though, when Mark went to get a second helping. With each passing week of this experiment I see her confidence, skills, and pride grow. “Mom! Take a picture of me multi-tasking!”

In case you're curious, this is pretty much what Dewey does while the rest of us are actively preparing food in the kitchen. 🤣

We all have hellish days and weeks, and this was the first stretch of crazy days for me in a long time. I questioned our decision to get a dog, my participation in a particular committee meeting, and my ability to meet my students’ needs. In the end, I did the best I could. And you know what? It. was. enough. It’s currently Saturday, and I’m typing this with a cup of coffee on the table, a sweet puppy sleeping next to me, and a 7th grader who is still asleep (at 7:32 A.M.!). The trifecta of this might just mean next week is going to be amazing.